Insta(gram)nt Reminder

Yesterday morning I deleted my Instagram account.

BOOM!

Gone.

Three, nearly 4 years worth of memories from Japan. With nearly 2500 photos, that’s a lot of time spent photographing and ultimately, preserving what I considered to be important aspects of my life and happenings in the world around me.

So, why then, did I decide to delete it?

For a number of reasons.

Firstly, I’m of the mind that 2016 deserves to be forgotten. Too much shit went down that was fucked up and I have no desire to remember the majority of it was snapshots. I’m not avoiding it; believe me, I have gone over every minute detail in my head many, many times and now it’s time to leave it where it deserves to be: in the past.

The second reason is probably the most important: I don’t want anything to do with anyone from last year either. For most people unfortunately they’re guilty only by association, but that’s enough for me. I had already unfollowed everyone in Hiroshima as the first step, but I realised that I didn’t want them seeing my life anymore either. A friend suggested I block them, which I also did, before saying I should just make my profile private.

My response: if you don’t want anyone but friends to see your photos, why have an Instagram account? You can just email or message the photos directly to your friends.

Thirdly, I’m starting a new book, that is, a new chapter in my life and there’s no need to keep reminding myself of Hiroshima. Why waste time on a place where I will no longer live? To me, that’s not being fully present in the time and place where I currently am? I know in my heart that I’ve already left; it’s simply my body that is still here. My mind moved sometime ago.

Hence, BOOM!

I don’t need an Insta(gram)nt Reminder of the past. There’s too much happening in the present.

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My new photography project 

I think I may have found my new hobby: taking photos of bus shelter advertisements. 

I find them really interesting because not only do they advertise new products, places or events, they also represent the seasons. 

Since it’s summer there are plenty of sunscreen, beer and cool drink product ads. Actually, who am I kidding? Beer and alcohol in general are advertised ALL the time in Japan. 

Japan is all about seasons. They love any excuse to tell you all about them. In my konbini and also my new Daiso column I frequently talked/talk about the seasons. Being from Australia in a hometown that has maybe… two seasons… I love Japan and the fact that each season brings new things. There’s always something to look forward to. 

The other thing I find really interesting about bus shelter advertisements is that often times local celebrities are featured so you can tell where you are just by looking at them. 

365 Photo Prompt: June 20 2017

I wrote this yesterday but issues stopped me from uploading it. Sorry. 

Before I begin this photo prompt, let me just say that I’m getting bored with the topics being given to me for photography. I take photos every day and I know what I do enjoy taking photos of. I like scenes of Hiroshima, funny and quirky things that take my fancy and ordinary things from life too. 

I know the prompts are supposed to extend you and challenge you but I’m finding them bland. I was originally taking all photos on my RicohGRII, but at least two now I’ve taken with my iPhone because the quality is high and it’s easier than fiddling around with the wifi setting on my camera. 

I’m not sure what I’m going to end up doing but it may be that this project is coming to an end simply because I’m not liking it anymore. I don’t find it inspiring at all. If I do decide to ditch the project, I will of course continue to take photos everyday and I will definitely keep writing everyday but not how I have been this year. 

And now that I come to the prompt for today… Animal. Funnily enough I’ve already taken a photo of a cat today and so I’m not reposting it. I’m just going to write about the topic. 

Animal: 

Sometimes I wished I was an animal. Yes, I know humans are animals but you know what I mean. 

I mean the kind who can lay on their backs and have their bellies rubbed, snooze in the sun for hours and then stretch, blink and roll over for another hour. 

Then again, I’m not sure I want to be owned by a human. I don’t want someone to constantly pick me up and carry me around like a toy and I don’t want kids to pull my ears and tail. 

Humans can be fucking stupid sometimes. 

365 Photo Prompt: June 19 2017

From the side: I didn’t even know I had reached my breaking point until it was upon me. 

It came on me from the side, rather than a frontal assault and that was fine, but it almost missed me. I’m glad it didn’t. 

I had to be honest with myself. I didn’t trust men. I didn’t trust any men. I didn’t trust my friends, I didn’t trust the men I passed on the street. I was done. 

What I loved most of all were the fucking douchbag people who told me he was coming and that I hadn’t met the right one yet. 

Bullshit. 

That was psychobabble bullshit you told people to make them feel better and to justify your position as a ‘good friend.’

I didn’t give a shit anymore if I was single forever. My hand was more than enough and I didn’t have to worry about some guy coming everywhere and wondering each month if I was pregnant. 

I was doing everything for myself from now on. 

No man was EVER going to change my opinion on that.

I was through. 

I just hoped that I woke up feeling better than how I knew I would go to sleep. 

365 Photo Prompt: June 18 2017

Water: Clearly it needed water. Its leaves were withered and the petals drooping.

I felt a bit like the sunflowers too. Rather than thirsty though, I felt hungry; hungry for proper love and affection and true intimacy, not some half-arsed substitute for love. 

It was pathetic how I kept being treated. I knew now that none of it was my fault; it was the douchebag guys who assumed that I was the fun party girl to have a good time with. 

Wrong. 

I wasn’t the party girl, I was the good girl who liked to have fun with her friends occasionally. 

I knew how that sunflower felt. I was exhausted too as though I needed new life breathed into me. 
I wondered who would water me. 

365 Photo Prompt: June 17 2017

Colour: Colour was my trademark. I always did bright. I always did weird. 

But today there was an absence of all that. Instead I had gone for simple black and white. I wondered why. 

I didn’t feel any different, I just felt like blending in for once in my life. 

Saying that though, I didn’t try to stand out. But I did. Even without colour. 

I was gajin after all. 

That was enough to make me different. 

365 Photo Prompt: June 16 2017

Favourite: 

I apologise. I’ve tried uploading this photo over and over. My phone hates it. You will have to check my Instagram. 

I couldn’t help it. I knew you weren’t supposed to have favourites, but everyone knew that we did. 

Everything about him screamed cute and I was often struck by just how much I loved him. Sometimes my heart felt like it was going to burst and he wasn’t even mine. 

His little hands grasped his lunchbox as he piped up, “Look! Look!”

I looked and said, “Oh my goodness, so cute!” 

I wasn’t talking about his lunchbox, but nobody else knew that. Only him. 

He grinned, his eyes crinkling and his dimple appearing. 

Yep, I had it bad. 

He was my favourite student and boy, did he know it.