In the closet:
I wasn’t sure what had tipped the balance.
Was it the realisation that men were a constant source of disappointment to me and that none of them had ever kept their promises? Was it because I’d become addicted to watching videos of famous YouTubers like Hannah Hart or Gaby and Allison?
Or that I’d slept with my closest female friend and couldn’t stop thinking about her?
Probably all of the above if I was honest.
Yet, how did I explain all the men?
All I knew, was that it was like a light had suddenly come on inside my brain.
I’d be in the closet for so long, denying myself or perhaps, not fully aware of it, that I wasn’t quite sure what to do next. I just knew that I needed to step out into the light because I was totally into girls and I wanted to do things with my friend that I’d never wanted to do with anyone else.
“Too much food!” I groaned as I clutched my stomach and rolled over on the couch.
My sister laughed. “Too much drink you mean!”
I moaned in agreement. Too much food and drink swirling around in my stomach and making me question why it was that we did this.
Why did we eat so much food and drink so much alcohol at Christmas, when we knew it would make us feel shitty?
The simple answer: we lived for the moment.
After last night’s binge, I wasn’t sure how many more moments I was going to live if I kept doing it.
I turned over to look at my sister.
“I’m giving up alcohol and becoming a vegetarian,” I declared.
Our mum’s head poked around the lounge room door. “Do either of you want a glass of champagne? We’re down to the last bottle.”
“I do!” I piped up.
My sister laughed.