Is from one of my students who announced loudly this morning,
“Jade, my bones are itchy!”
I told him that was impossible and that it was skin that was dry, not his bones. He thought that was hilarious.
About an hour or two later I found him sitting on the floor pinching his nose with an angry expression on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“(insert child’s name) has a stinky bottom!”
I couldn’t stop laughing. In fact, I was laughing so much I couldn’t get my breath and tears were leaking out the side of my eyes.
The child with the stinky bottom doesn’t have a stinky bottom. He has incredibly foul breath which is a result of having bad teeth (not his fault, it’s a diagnosed problem). Lately though the kids have all been commenting on it and being as honest as kids are, they’re starting to tell him directly that he smells.
Oh how I wish sometimes I could say exactly what I think and feel directly to the person. I mean, I CAN, but it may not end well. Mind you, with some people I don’t actually give a shit how it ends. It would actually be great if it ended! 🙂
Third story of the day occurred when the kids were colouring and my little Monkey Man (that’s my nickname for my favourite- yes, teachers have favourites, despite what they say!) said he couldn’t colour anymore because something was moving in his pants.
My teaching assistant was worried because she thought it might be an insect or something. She asked him to show her. Big mistake, poor love.
He took his pants down, reached into his underwear, pulled out his penis and repeated what he’d said:
“I can’t colour because it keeps moving when I colour.”
Well, that topped everything I’ve ever heard from a man about what gives him an erection.
Colouring? Wow, powerful colouring.
At least he’s truthful though. No man will ever say, “I can’t think/continue to do this because I have an erection.” Sometimes though, they should!
Thank you, my little Monkey Man! That comment made my day!