It evaded me:
It evaded me at the time but that’s what happens when you fall in love.
You don’t notice that someone is crazy even when the things they’re telling you are BIG red flags. You just convince yourself that it isn’t that bad and push it down inside yourself. Each lie is added to and when it all finally comes to a head, the person you are most angry with is yourself.
For not seeing what was right in front of you.
For ignoring the truth and the gut feelings you got.
For sticking around when you knew you should run.
I guess I learned a heap of lessons but boy, some of them I didn’t want to learn. At least, not in the way that I did.
I blamed myself too for being too trusting, too honest; for revealing a part of myself that I couldn’t even say out loud but that finally I did.
That haunted me for longer than anything else; for knowing that I had asked for something that I didn’t want because I didn’t know how to express myself properly. I awakened it again in him and that was both of our downfalls.