WARNING: This week’s column has an extreme language warning. If you are easily offended by offensive language, sorry, we can’t be friends, I’m an Aussie and even us chicks have potty mouths. If you don’t like it, too fucking bad mate. To everyone else, please enjoy. 🙂
Halloween is officially over and yes, the Christmas decorations etc. have already appeared. In fact, they appeared just before Halloween was over. As in, the Halloween stuff had been cleared and was on discount tables outside and the Christmas stuff had already taken over.
But I don’t want to talk about Christmas this week because it’s too depressing. I don’t want to think about the end of the year and yet at the same time, I desperately want this year to be over…
Instead, I want to talk about this wonderful time of year for the autumn leaves, but shitty for all of us with allergies. Seriously people, I’m going to be all Aussie here and just say it honestly:
Fuck this shit.
Fuck the allergies I’ve had for weeks.
Fuck the fluctuating temperatures (thanks a fucking lot global warming and fucking stupid humans like Donald Trump who don’t believe in it!)
These two lovely factors (as well as a few others I won’t go into here) have combined to make my life a living hell. Four sick days in just over a month because of sinus infections.
Yes, I’m angry.
And anger is a wonderful motivator for writing. Thanks for the inspiration.
In this week’s column, I want to talk about my top three products that are available at Daiso (the first, all year round and the other two exclusively for the cooler months) to make your life a little easier and mine a little warmer so maybe, just maybe I can get over this latest infection.
Number One: Masks:
You can get these all year round, but I use these from September to… well… till whenever I need them. I wear them at night while I’m sleeping so that I can smell my own shitty, sinus-infected snot, sorry, that slipped out… I meant to say, so that I can create a nice humid environment so that my mucus membranes don’t dry out (that sounds all lovely and scientific of me, doesn’t it?) Apparently that can cause issues and it also keeps the nasties out and by this, I mean the dust that is sitting around in my apartment which desperately needs to be cleaned. Properly. With an exorcism. Sorry… I mean by a vacuum cleaner.
Some people insist on buying expensive masks, but seriously, buying five in a pack at a pharmacy/chemist/drugstore (insert your country’s word for it here) for up to 500 yen is a total rip-off. Do yourself a favour and go to Daiso and buy 30 in a pack for 108 yen (including tax) total. Bargain mate.
Number Two: Hand warmers (known as kairo or カイロ):
One word: fucking brilliant. Sorry, that’s two words but who fucking cares. You get my point.
These lovely little packs of warm and toasty goodness can be added to your pockets to keep your hands, well, warm and toasty when you dip them in.
How do they work?
You open the individual packets and whatever is in them is activated when the air hits them. I know that’s not very scientific in keeping with the above stuff, but I don’t know and it doesn’t matter, because all I need to know is that it keeps me warm. I always squish them and roll them around in my hands to speed-up the process before I insert them into my pockets. The Daiso ones being so cheap don’t stay as warm of course as the more expensive ones you can buy at the pharmacy or supermarkets, but hey, they’re good enough. Bring a spare two to work or wherever you’re going and you’re set for the day. Be warned, they do get hot.
Number Three: Sticky hot patches (known as haru taipu kairo 貼るタイプカイロ or adhesive-type kairo):
These babies keep me alive in winter here. You peel off the sticky back and attach them to your clothes, NOT your skin. They are super-hot and will last all night and well into the morning if you put one on. I like to add them to my lower back and ladies, they’re also great for period pain believe it or not. It’s like walking around with a hot water bottle, except you don’t have one. Again, you know what I mean. There are also types you can stick to your socks and for me, that’s wonderful, because my feet are often the only part of me that I can’t seem to make warm and they’re making me so cold I can’t think about anything else.
Yep, that’s my top three, guaranteed to make you feel a little more human instead of the ice cube you may resemble at times during autumn and of course, in winter. Go down to your nearest Daiso and find them! And yes, Aussie fans of Daiso, you can get them there too because I looked up their Australian website. And yes, Japanese people (and foreigners who don’t know), in some places in Australia it’s very cold and in fact, just as cold as Japan.
Keep warm and let’s hope this sinus infection (and the ones that will try to follow it up), fuck offs and goes away. It’s only autumn and I already feel like I have the winter blues.
Until next week, over and out. Roger that.
P.S. I’m not even sure I know what, ‘Roger that,’ means, but it sounds like something I should say to end.