Presume to tell me what I feel and best of all, what I want.
Let me tell you about my two favourites.
At the top of the list is that I will want children when I meet the right man.
This argument is so flawed you have no idea.
Firstly, I have never wanted children. Can I just repeat that for those of you who didn’t hear it? Sorry, I mean the people who haven’t LISTENED. I have never wanted children.
Unfortunately there are a lot of ignorant people in the world who might have heard what I said, but do not listen. I realise that some people don’t understand this because they assume what they want is also what everyone else wants too. NEWSFLASH! Not everyone wants what you have!
Not wanting children does not make me a children-hater, it does not mean there is something wrong with me, it just means I do not want my own. I’m a kindergarten teacher, I love kids, but I have enough of them to feel satisfied and not require my own. I like being able to play with them and give them back at the end of the day and go home to my apartment, alone and do what I want. That does not make me selfish, it makes me honest. Those people who have children and then dump them on their parents, friends, whatever so they can do what they want, is selfish. When you have kids you have to change your priorities. I don’t want to change mine. As my mum has always said, “The physical act of having a child does not make you a good mother/parent.” True.
As a young girl I was also told that I may not be able to have children. At the time I was having major issues with my periods and even now, although everything appears to be normal, I will never really know unless I decided to try for them. No, don’t feel sorry for me. That’s the way life is sometimes.
When I meet the right man? For starters, that may NEVER HAPPEN! Just because you want me to meet someone does not mean it will actually happen. Believe it or not, sometimes people do not meet anyone. I’m not being negative, I’m being a realist. It is what it is. I did meet someone last year who changed my mind for a brief moment in time. For a zillion reasons we aren’t together anymore and so this case is closed. It will not open again under any circumstances. I will not compromise on this for anyone ever again.
That brings me to my second favourite:
Time heals everything and you will get over him.
No it does not heal everything.
This is the most ridiculous argument for so many reasons. I would love to bring those ignorant arseholes to Hiroshima and say, yes, try saying that to an A-bomb survivor who lost everyone and everything they loved.
In my case, no. Some things will have dimmed, I give it that, but feelings run deep.
I was just saying to a friend today and to reiterate this point I’m going to reveal something I didn’t want to tell anyone (let alone admit myself), but I just need to accept it.
In fact, let me type out the conversation I sent to her today:
I’ve tried. I really have.
I hadn’t seen him for 6 months. Nothing.
But it’s still there.
And to be honest, I know it’s not going to. I know myself well enough. I know my heart very, very, very well.
I do not have any interest in anyone. No one. I haven’t had any interest in anyone and I always like someone. I cannot forget him. No amount of tattooing my body can change that. Fuck.
I don’t want to meet someone new. I like the flawed, pain-in-the-arse person who I met last year who is not my type AT ALL. I would rather be single than be with someone who I’m not really into and is second best. I wouldn’t do that to someone, it’s not fair.
Let me just say, I don’t want to like this person. It makes life complicated, filled with drama and stressful, but for some reason, I like that. Those of you who have followed my blog for awhile know the full story and had any of this happened to a friend I would tell her to run, but I am me and what I choose to do is my business. MY business.
So to the people who presume to tell me what I feel and what I want…