How did you even begin to understand the inner workings of a person who said one thing and really did believe it for a time but then thought too much about it and changed their mind?
I was at a loss. I didn’t know if I should continue to try or just give up. Giving up wasn’t a phrase in my vocabulary but I was beginning to think in this situation I wasn’t giving up, I was simply choosing to focus on something that would actually be worth the time and energy I invested in it.
I wanted to ask, “So what’s the deal?” but I was afraid of the answer so I kept my mouth closed.
Besides which, this was new and unfamiliar territory. I’d never gone back before. I wondered if perhaps I was the mentally questionable person in the relationship.
Relationship. Was it even a relationship? To me that was a two way thing and although I guess it was in part, I wasn’t sure it was equal enough for me.
There was nothing I could do about it. I’d long ago rendered trying to control things. It was pointless. It was a pity the other person couldn’t see that.
I wasn’t sure where it was going and the uncertainty made me nervous.