I was still hoping. I hadn’t lost that, but it was somewhat dimmed and more cautious.
I didn’t particularly like the unexpected; I liked having some element of control, or at least the ability to pretend I had some.
I was still hoping one day that my doorbell would ring and I would get a nice surprise; the kind I saw in the movies or fantasised about in my head. I wasn’t holding out for it to happen though. Reality was a tough one some times but the sooner I realised that, the sooner I would get over it.
Where the hell was my White Knight in Shining Armour?