CaptureYour365 Photo Prompt: April 14 2017

Landing: Landing me as a girlfriend is no easy task. 

I’m not a difficult person and I won’t make you jump through hoops but after the last boyfriend, geez… I have much, much stricter rules as to who I’m accepting. I put up with a douchebag for far too long last year. 

First and foremost he needs to be honest, faithful and loyal with me and to me. The faithful and loyal means to me… Only. No cheating bastards. 

He needs to care for me and make me feel as though I’m the only woman in the world. I’m not saying he needs to worship the ground I walk on, I just want him to know what I’m worth and to make sure he appreciates me. 

He needs to make me laugh and be able to have conversations with me that are both superficial and deep. None of this small talk bullshit. I want meaningful topics as well as just the everyday stuff. 

He needs to reply to messages and put effort in. Okay so this one should be a no brainer but hey, tell that to my ex. 

One day he did this huge sigh and said, “Wow, having a girlfriend requires effort.”

No fucking shit Sherlock. This is a man who speaks four languages; love is not one of them. He has no fucking idea. 

He cannot control me. I am not a dog. And don’t be condescending and talk to me in a teacher kind of voice. I’m a teacher, I know the voice I’m referring to. 

He must also be well liked and have friends. My ex had no one. He will never have anyone because he’s a selfish prick who doesn’t understand the first thing about human relationships. Or animal ones for that matter. 

You know what? Other than that I’m totally flexible. 

I don’t care about race or nationality and being rich or poor is not going to impress me or make me feel sorry for you and want to help you. You are what you are. 

The other possibility would be for my ex to completely remodel his narcissistic behaviour and learn to be a decent human being. 

But that’s not going to happen. 

In fact, I bet my friend that if he actually had the balls to try again I will run naked down my street wearing only a stupid mask. That’s how sure I am that it’s not going to happen. 

This is the one and only time I wish desperately I was wrong. 

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