I liked bright, crazy colours and prints and things that were quirky. I shuddered as I pulled out dress after dress with lace, bows, flowers and cutesy frills. To be honest it was probably very much suited to the petite Japanese ladies who surrounded me in Japan; I had to wonder then why I ever bought it. I had never been a girly girl and I hated fuss and although I had beaten an eating disorder in my twenties and was still considered small by most people, none of these clothes suited me now, let alone fitted me.
I had lost my anal obsessiveness about food and exercise and had really enjoyed all the junk and alcohol I had missed out on in my earlier years, but something had changed. It didn’t interest me anymore. I wanted to live and be healthy, not be skin and bones. I had some muscle now but I wanted a change. I wanted to be the best person I could be and that meant no more shit in my life.
It meant no more shit men in my life too. They’d been a focus for the last three years and I hadn’t been happy at all.
I was in the process of transformation and that butterfly was going to spread her beautiful wings and fly.
A new life awaited.