And they pay me to teach English?! 

I’m sorry but I have to post this first and explain what I was trying to do because it’s just so funny. I will post the translation and then the original because you really won’t be able to understand what I was trying to say without being able to read exactly what I WAS trying to say. 

Since my computer died in October last year I’ve been without one and simply using my phone. That means the typing is tedious and so I’ve been using the microphone to dictate what I want to say. 

Unfortunately it fucks up. 

So here is what my microphone thought I said:

I don’t like the new Kinko Palow they’ve put in your poop LOL it’s so shiny and new and clean. I like the old Junko Pollis faded and a little rougher on the edges.

I am hell of all loving the new company that’s opened because as you all know I am a company junkie.

In reality, what I actually said was as follows:

I don’t like the new pachinko parlor they’ve built in Yokogawa. It’s so shiny and new and clean. I like the old pachinko parlor; faded and a little rough around the edges. 

I am, however, loving the new konbini that’s opened because as you know, I am a konbini junkie!

So this goes to show that despite being a native English speaker this microphone cannot pick up what I’m saying. It does, however, think my Japanese is perfect. 

And that my friends is a lie. 

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