Tiny:When I said that there were bigger problems in the world than mine I wasn’t trivialising my own, nor was I making excuses for anyone else’s behaviour. I was simply saying that at some point I needed to let go and move on and so did the people around me.
In fact it seems they were having a harder time with the situation than I was. I was trying to get on with my life but people just kept pulling me back and wanting to know over and over again what had happened.
I knew my problem wasn’t small.
As Mark Twain said, “Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the external laws of proportion a child’s loss of a doll and a King’s loss of a crown are events of the same size.”
In other words everything was relative. Both were sad and both deserved to be treated as such.
The thing was though, for the first time in many, many months I felt a tiny glimmer of hope; one that I knew would grow with positivity not negativity.
I felt that some of the people around me, even though they were trying to help, were actually poisoning me with their toxic ways. They were living in the past and rehashing it over and over again. I’d done that and it hadn’t gotten me anywhere. It was time to try something new and that new was getting on with it.
It didn’t mean that I had forgotten or that I was in denial, it just meant that I had accepted things as they were and realised that I needed to change through my loss into a new and stronger version of myself.
I no longer cared whether people thought that what I was doing was right; it didn’t matter. It was MY life not theirs. I was the writer of my story and characters that no longer had a part to play were simply re-written out of the book.
I wasn’t sure of the ending just yet but that didn’t matter and I didn’t need to know.