The Real FD (Fucking Dickhead)

All the stories are finally being told. 

Piecing them together shows you for who and what you really are: a disgusting and disturbed individual who cannot be classed as human. 

Is it the control that turns you on? 

Is it the knowledge that you are physically stronger than a female?

I can’t begin to fathom the sick thoughts that clutter your twisted mind. 

You have issues you need to deal with. You are seriously messed up. 

And here I was and probably many other women were thinking that they were the problem. That’s what you told me anyway. 

“You’re just emotional Jade.”

No, I think. I’m just fucking angry that you treated me like that. 

Correction: I’m angry I ALLOWED myself to be treated like that.

It doesn’t excuse your behaviour though. 

I never asked to be violated just because I was drunk. 

It was always your way: your choice of restaurant, accusing me of liking sex too much. 

You once told me to be like a Japanese girl and say, “Dame dame, no no,” when you tried to fuck me. 

That’s rape culture and I would never allow myself to say that. You tried to make me feel guilty because I like sex and wanted affection.

I don’t honestly think you even know what real love or affection is. 

I do. I have it with my family and friends.

I don’t need or want you anymore because now I’ve seen the real you and it’s ugly. 

Hideously disfigured and the stuff that nightmares are made of. 

But you won’t be haunting my dreams. I can finally sleep easily again; stress free and happy. 

But you, oh you won’t ever sleep properly again. Because people now know what you did and the news is spreading. We know what you’re like and believe me, nobody likes what they see. 

We don’t want you here. 

You’ve outstayed your welcome. 

You only have yourself to blame. 

Cut the bullshit. 

Stop blaming others. 

No one but you is responsible for your behaviour. 

Rape behaviour. 

Yes, it’s happened more than once. 

I wonder what you’d say or do if someone treated your daughters like that. 

Not exactly a good role model, are you?

My parting words to you:

Yes, actually I do think you’re a piece of shit. I freely admit I was wrong. It wasn’t my pride, it was yours. 

I won’t be blamed again and I’m not a victim either. 

I’m a survivor. 

And now I’m free. 

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