Starting something new like a relationship was always difficult and a little scary because you didn’t know what would happen or how things would end.
Starting a packet of Tim Tams, a block of chocolate or a bottle of wine, however, was easy. The difficult part was stopping before the entire thing was gone. In fact, you also knew how it would end…
You would feel guilty for being such a guts, you would tell yourself tomorrow was another day and you could start over and worst of all, you usually felt really sick.
Why then did you keep doing it?
Was it the comfort of the familiar? Even though you knew you’d feel bad, it was familiar.
I was starting to think that was a pretty fucking stupid reason to do anything. It would certainly explain a few bad decisions in my life this year though.
I had kept doing a number of things because it had become a habit. It didn’t necessarily make me happy. It was just familiar.
Not good enough, I said. Not a good enough reason to continue.
So I’d started to change a few things I did in my life.
Like ditch shitty people who made me cry or stressed me out.
It wasn’t always easy to start, but I did know I felt a lot better and it would be good in the long term.
Better days were coming.