365 Days Writing Prompt Challenge: Day 325

325. Lost and Found:
I wasn’t quite sure what I’d lost but according to my fortune from the shrine, I had definitely lost something. 
I wondered if it was my mind. 
Surely thinking about getting back together with someone who was, as I’d told him, “a fucking pain in the arse,” was not the greatest idea I’d ever had. Then again it wasn’t the worst idea I’d had either. That was probably dating him in the first place. Just kidding. 
I really didn’t know what I’d lost apart from him. I know I certainly hadn’t lost any physical or material possession. In that case it was definitely something mental or emotional. I thought perhaps it was my best friend. I’d lost the person I wanted to tell random stuff to, the person who didn’t judge me even when I fucked up again and again. 
But I’d judged him, hadn’t I? I’d judged him according to my own values and standards and expected him to just change his whole being to fit in with me. That was not what a relationship was about. Both of us had been single for too long and weren’t sure how to deal with this whole thing. 
So we’d broken up and I felt… Like I’d lost something that I didn’t think could be found again with someone else. 
If we took another chance and both learned to work together as the fantastic team we were when we weren’t fighting, we would be unbeatable. 
But the fortune said I would find it in a place I hadn’t thought of. 
Oh my God, I realised. It was me. I’d been blaming him all this time and it was me who needed to look at myself. 
I had lost and found myself with him. I knew what I wanted yet at the same time I was terrified. I wanted a straight forward relationship and I had listened to everyone else instead of listening to my heart. 
I needed to listen more carefully. And I needed to tell him that. 


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