This is super weird but I just looked at the website where I get my writing prompts and discovered there is no 164! They missed it out completely! Therefore, I went to another website today, which can be found here and used their Day 164.
I had finally found what I hadn’t been looking for. No, I haven’t made a mistake in my writing. That’s exactly what I mean.
For years I’d been the Queen of Lists. These lists had ranged from jobs to do for the day to packing checklists, but the most controversial and problematic of my lists was the “Boyfriend List.”
The original list had contained about five qualities I wanted in a boyfriend. I didn’t think it was asking too much and the list had been general things like, honesty, can make me laugh and intelligent. It certainly didn’t contain anything that was too specific.
That list was soon discarded and replaced with a new one. Over time the list became longer and longer and I found myself getting more depressed with not being able to find someone who fit the criteria I had deemed necessary to be a good boyfriend. My friends got sick of my moaning and complaining and eventually a close male friend of mine said, “The problem is not the lack of men, the problem is the list!”
He was right.
I was being unreasonable. Here I was, constructing a list like an assignment criteria sheet. It wasn’t general anymore, it was so specific that I had created something that was pure fantasy. I had lost touch with reality.
More than that, by having such a strict list I was missing out on opportunities with genuinely nice guys. I had become some focused on what I thought I wanted, I hadn’t been able to consider the fact that maybe what I wanted (and indeed, needed) was very different from what I thought I wanted.
One afternoon while visiting a friend, she decided enough was enough. She made me tear the list into tiny pieces and we struck a match and burned it.
Soon after, I met Jess. He was funny, interesting, intelligent and I suddenly realised, was EXACTLY what I wanted. He didn’t tick all the boxes on the now extinct list but I hadn’t expected him to and I realised, hadn’t wanted him to. He was genuine and he loved me for me and that was enough.
Sometimes we set out with a specific person or thing in mind, hoping to find it. Instead, what we find is something even better.
Yep, I’d finally found the one.