I’m not quite sure what’s happening to me lately, but something is definitely… I don’t even know how to describe it; I can’t find the words…
Let me explain.
I started a new job three weeks ago, which requires me to wear pretty formal business attire, which is something I have not done for a long, LONG time. I don’t mind doing it, but it’s not my standard everyday wear that I’m comfortable in. I didn’t realise though, that I actually look really, really nice. I look stylish.
People often use that word to describe my fashion sense, but it’s not a word I would use if asked. Words that come to mind are more like, ‘quirky,’ ‘individual,’ ‘crazy’ or ‘funky.’
Sophisticated is another word I wouldn’t use. Funnily enough, a few people have used this recently, including my mum. I was wondering if perhaps there was something in the water, or perhaps, in the air, or maybe someone or something (i.e. the universe) decided to pull a bit of an Ashton Kutcher, ‘Punked’ on me. But it doesn’t seem to be that…
Rather, it appears that I don’t mind looking nice and dare I say, conservative, as opposed to looking nice, but in a funky, weird, arty, creative way. I don’t mind the simple black and white and I’ve been wearing it for days.
It’s definitely changed the way I think and as I’ve always known, it gives me a different feeling or even personality when I don them. I walk differently, I hold myself differently (perhaps more confidently) and I feel as though people are looking at me because I look beautiful, rather than because they are A. either freaked out by my crazy style and don’t want to associate with me or B. are fascinated by what I’m wearing and want to comment on it or even stop and talk.
I think I’m having a fashion identity crisis and I’m not sure I’m quite comfortable with it yet.
Today for example, I wanted to wear something ‘normal,’ again. My inner arty though decided to wear as many accessories as possible, as well as my funky happy pants because I felt the urge to rebel. I felt that I was losing part of myself that I wasn’t quite ready to give up yet, or perhaps, don’t ever want to give up because that’s how I’ve always defined myself and it’s comfortable.
I always thought my fashion sense was the main way I conveyed who I am and how I’m feeling. Now I’m not so sure.
I need more time to think about this.