22. Smoke, Fog, and Haze:
Some people have suggested meditation, but I’m not into all that ‘touchy-feely’ New Age bullshit, so I’ve dismissed the idea. Others have recommended a holiday at the beach, but I hate sand and the idea of just laying there doing nothing does my head in.
If you haven’t already guessed, I’m one of those people who finds it difficult to relax, yet at the same time, I’m most certainly in dire need of some time-out. I’ve been going hard for close to two years and I feel emotionally, physically, mentally and dare I say, spiritually, burnt out. I want to run away.
My head hurts from thinking too much and yet at the same time, it feels like it’s full of smoke, fog, and haze, like I can’t see what’s right in front of me. I know that there is an answer to all my problems but I just haven’t been able to make the connection yet. I can’t explain why. Maybe something else needs to happen first before I reach a conclusion.
One of my friends is really into ‘manifestation,’ as she calls it, but I’ve always been wary. The one time I did wish for something and visualized it many, many times, I ended up with more than I bargained for and I don’t want to go there again.
So what do I do? Do I do the whole proactive thing and put myself out there? Or do I sit quietly and wait for something to happen?
There I go again, thinking too much and yet, getting nowhere.